I Was Stuck
I wasn’t flying. I was at a point in my life where it should have been smooth sailing. To the observer, everything looked great. I had achieved quite a lot. There was only one problem, though—I had reached a dead end. I felt stuck.
Despite the fact that everything appeared to be perfectly in place, deep down I was frustrated. There wasn’t anything else to come; no new goals to achieve that held the significant meaning I was yearning for. I was listless, floating about on life’s seas with no compass. I began having problems with my health, and then had to undergo surgery and a very lengthy recovery.
During my recovery, I was forced to take a look at my life. I took stock, inventorying my life’s achievements. It was a scary process, looking over where I had been and what I had done. The fear I felt, the uncertainty, was all wrapped in my fear of failure. What if I hadn’t done enough? What if I had done everything perfectly right? What would explain this feeling I had, one of discontentment, or feeling like I had lost my purpose? How could I explain that if I had done everything I was supposed to do? Did that mean there were no steps that I could take to remedy the situation?
This snippet of time in my life was a time of discomfort—or so I thought. I had been trying to so hard minimize my feelings and to focus instead of what I had. I was so focused that I couldn’t see the big picture. I didn’t realize the extent of the matter until I began to try to step out of my comfort zone. I suddenly realized it wasn’t a “comfort” zone at all, but rather a space in my life that was filled with pain. It was a pain zone—there was no comfort to be found.
It was not an easy journey, but one that I recommend people go on. Feeling so fearful of what I would find when I began to examine my life was almost enough to stop me in my tracks. But I knew I couldn’t surrender. I deserved more in my life, and no one was going to make a change for me. I had to do it for myself.
Feel the fear and do it anyway.
Once again, fear almost stopped me in my tracks when I began to think about reinventing myself. I had already been paralyzed for so long, locked in my palace of inaction. I had finally reached the point, though, where it was more painful to stay as I was than it was frightening to move forward. I was tired of trying to squeeze myself into a nice, neat box, changing me to try to fit into a role of something I wasn’t.
So, I had a new problem. There was a gap between where I had been and where I wanted to go. I was standing on the edge, not knowing how I would be able to make it to the other side of the gap. All I knew was that I had to make it.
I took a leap.
I made a choice to play BIG and no longer be the small, invisible Omo I had been.
When I took that leap, I began to soar. I suddenly realized that no one else was to blame for my life not being full of purpose. I realized that I was the one who could determine how big or small I wanted to be. Only I could define me.
All along, I had needed to show up in a big way for me and allow myself to live life on my terms.
How to Take This and Use It for Your Life
I learned that there are a few very vital steps that one must take to walk this journey. Here’s what I learned. . .
Take stock of where you’ve been. Go through the emotions that this entails. Feel them, acknowledge them. Don’t back away from it. It may feel like you’re opening the door to something that will pour out uncontrollably, never to be reined in again, but it will be okay. Let yourself experience each feeling, and surrender to the process.
Now that you’ve seen where you’ve been, it’s time to look forward to where you’d like to go. Take the time to get 100 percent clear on what it is you’d like to do. Clarity isn’t easy, either, don’t underestimate this step. Getting a crystal clear picture of what it is that you want for your life is vital to the next step. What is the next step?
Create an action plan. This is where you begin to recognize the steps you need to take to bridge the gap from where you’ve been and you would like to be. This is it! Think carefully about your plan, and make sure to create a clear path by prioritizing what you need to do. Be diligent because many times this is where people give up, only to slide back into the same patterns, returning to the pain zone.
Having a clear plan and knowing what you want makes all the difference between moving forward and staying stuck.
When I was in the same position, I reached out. I got help to figure out a solid action plan. I did deep work and I cried. I learned the power of letting go, because I could never have moved forward if I was still clinging to the edge.
It’s Not Like a Fairytale
It isn’t far away in some unreachable world. Satisfaction, fulfillment, and purpose are within reach.
If you decide you’d like some help outlining the steps on your journey, I am here. I would consider it a privilege to help you soar.