Have You Given It All Away?
Bright lady with feels like she’s got nothing left, I’m talking to you. Yes, you. I’m talking to you, the woman who puts her heart and soul into everything she does and doesn’t stop until the job is done and everything is perfect.
I’m speaking to the kind lady who is always there for everyone; the one who will drop everything to help a friend in need. You, the one who always outs her own needs last.
Do you give it all away? Are you giving away too much energy, time, and sometimes money, hoping to receive that big pat on the shoulder? Do you give away too much of yourself, hoping for someone to recognize the effort you put in to everything you do?
How is that going for you? Is it working out? Are you receiving the recognition you so crave?
A lesson I learned the hard way is that this never works out in the long-term. Instead of receiving the recognition you feel you deserve, you only become more frustrated every passing day as your efforts are overlooked, or worse, taken for granted.
You’ve become the person everyone expects these things from, with very little reciprocation when you need something.
So, how do you change this cycle that always ends in your disappointment?
Take It Back.
It’s time for you to be there for you. It’s time for you to prioritize yourself. I know you like to help others, and it gives you a sense of purpose in the moment, but wouldn’t it be nice to feel happy and satisfied without running yourself ragged or accessing your savings?
If you answered yes, then it’s time for the next step. What is the next step?
Change your number and tell no one.
So, you don’t necessarily have to change your number, but let’s pretend you did. Let’s say all those who you regularly give, give, give to suddenly cannot contact you. They can’t get in touch with you because your number has been disconnected. Now what happens? Do you think that:
A.) You’ll miss helping them so much you’ll reach out to contact them.
B.) You’ll suddenly feel alone and lost and not sure what to do next.
C.) You’ll feel instantly relieved.
D.) You’ll get some space and time to yourself to focus on you.
While I know you want to choose option C or D, the reality is so many times we end up right back where we started. Why? Because we didn’t put in the deep work to uncover why it is we are putting ourselves in this position over and over again. While I doubt you will seek out those who will take advantage of your kindness and your willingness to give something your 200% best effort, most of the time it isn’t about seeking anyone out. We put ourselves in these positions without realizing what we’re doing. Because we haven’t figured out the mindset that leads to these choices, we keep making the same mistakes.
How do you uncover the mindset?
Make Some Breathing Room.
Give yourself some alone time. Think about what’s important to you. Often times, we give everything we have in us at work. We make sure every project receives all our time, all our energy, even to the detriment of our health.
Why are you working yourself into the ground? What is driving you? Is there an end in sight? Is there a specific goal that you are aiming for? Or are you lost in the doing, doing, doing?
Where do you want to be in three years? Are these activities contributing to that vision of your future self?
Push yourself harder than you ever have before to uncover what it is you want in life, and then determine if your current activities are in alignment with that. I have no doubt that you’ll find that you’re ready for recognition and a little freedom. You’d like to live your life by your own rules and not feel so constrained by yourself, by others, and by life in general.
I’m not going to cover any of it up with fluff. I’m going to just say it. Here it is …
This way of living is no longer working for you. You must stop now.
It won’t be easy, to break bad habits and uncover who you really are under all the things you have added on top of your true yourself. You have spent so much time unintentionally shoving yourself down, down, down trying to be everything to everyone else. But you simply can’t do this any longer.
You have to do something, today. Right now. Do not lose this feeling of urgency only to convince yourself later that you can hold on a little longer. Just until some end point that will simply come and go as the last one did. No more deadlines. Today is it.
Today is the first day of your new life.
Start by saying no to something. Anything. It doesn’t need to something big; you don’t need to call up your boss and tell him off (as a matter of fact, I don’t suggest this approach ever). But find something small and say no. It can be something as simple as choosing not to do the dishes, spending that time instead focusing on you.
Take something back for yourself, though.
Take a Big Step.
If you go to my homepage, you’ll discover a sign-up form for a free Get Out of That Rut Now Power Session. I invite you to take advantage of this offer. Let’s talk about where you’ve been, where you are, and where you want to be. Saying the words I’m stuck out loud make them more real, and make your ability to do something about it within reach.
So, sign up today for a free Power Session. I look forward to hearing from you.
A Lesson Learned.
When you start prioritizing yourself, and treating yourself as worthy of love, happiness, and respect, you’ll discover that others will follow your lead. It may be a harder for some than others to recognize you instead of only what you can do for them, but it will happen if you take action.