What makes a conversation powerful?Is it the person you’re talking to, the topics you choose to discuss or the difference in knowledge that all parties involved share?
Or is it the ability to reach out organically?
Reaching out organically is starting a conversation void of expectations, rewards, and ulterior motives. It’s about communicating as a human being and acting as your honest self, rather than a charade looking to gain something from the interaction.
Many people have an immediate distrust of salespeople for example, primarily because communication is not organic; it’s forced and entered under the guise of an ulterior motive. Despite common thoughts, human beings are generally good at perceiving when communication is one way, which explains why – even with the rise of social media, faking it until you make it no longer an appropriate strategy for long-term success and happiness.
Even so, organic communication is a viable and often sought-after method of legacy building. Consider the person(s) you’ve looked up to in your life; what do they all have in common? Gandhi, Mandela, Wole Soyinka, and those who create movements, empower those around them and change the world for the better do so through organic communication.
They embrace who they are, their ideas and convey their beliefs through confidence, self-esteem, self-awareness and without the expectancy of immediate reward. As the world has seen repeatedly, these people appear to have a gravitational pull, drawing those around them into their cause.
Organic communication influences, motivates, impacts, and contributes to forming the world as it is. Its influence doesn’t stop face to face, especially given the rise of the digital world, social media, and online communication.
Yet, even behind a screen, the same principles apply – without confidence, self-esteem, self-awareness, the ability to self-regulate and the desire to impact the world, our communication still falls flat. These things all start with the brain – a neuro agile brain.
The Truth Behind Organic Communication
Organic communication is happening around us on a smaller scale daily. When we think of those who have made an impact, we gravitate towards those who have shifted the world as we know it, yet the desired impact is a subjective measurement itself.
Who is to say that impacting a specific group of people is more impactful than a singular person? In reality, no one can; your own measurement of impact is determined by what you truly value, believe and hold dear to your heart.
There will always be people that don’t find value or impact through the actions of others, but this is great news – You can’t please or impact everyone.
It also means that organic communication isn’t a hereditary trait; it’s something we can learn.
Learning to Reach Out Organically
We can build our ability to organically communicate daily, just like any other skill or muscle. One element that can hold us back is becoming fixated on the end destination rather than the journey. As an example, a poor salesman enters the call targeting the close rather than focusing on adding value or identifying if the fit is right.
Subtle shifts in focus like this enable us to communicate authentically and have organic conversations, not forced for rewards or outcomes. Consider your professional career for a second; how many business relationships were built when your first communication was founded on two humans interacting as humans, not money machines or numbers.
Below are my recommendations for those looking to hone their authentic communication skills. I consider these points when self-reflecting on the ripple effect I want to have on the world.
#1 Detach yourself from the outcome
Whether we like to believe it or not, our choice of vocabulary and the questions we ask become heavily influenced if we are chasing an outcome. It is almost impossible to listen with intent and ask thought-provoking questions with something lingering on our minds.
So, before each conversation, I like to consider a few things I want to know about the other person or the topic of discussion. This allows me to listen with intent and communicate my responses thoughtfully and organically.
#2 Identify what ripple effect you want to have on the world
What do you want to be known for?
Understanding this question is likely one of the hardest things to do yet will significantly impact the way you carry yourself in conversation. Knowing the impact, you want to have on the world will direct how you communicate, what you value and how you want to help or aid those around you. This is when you’ll notice others begin to gravitate around and towards you.
#3 Identify what matters to you in your own life
Each of us has different self-esteem and self-confidence levels, influencing how we choose to communicate and who we choose to correspond with. I have found both invaluable when communicating organically with others, and I attribute these to the ability to identify what matters in my own life.
By doing so, I can take responsibility for the ripple effect I’m creating in my area of interest and those that it influences the most. Similarly, focusing on these key areas continuously builds upon my own self-awareness and aids in taking on new challenges or discussing topics to which I am unfamiliar.
Embracing Organic Reach
Reaching out organically can often leave us vulnerable; we’re putting our cards on the table and, more often than not, communicating with strangers that might be looking for an opportunity to take advantage.
However, I offer a counterthought – being vulnerable allows others to see us as we truly are and without hesitation. Seeing our inner selves creates comfort and helps build confidence between those communicating – providing a more thought-provoking conversation.
* * *
Being fully aware of the impact of your actions in your life and on others, recognizing your strengths, and unique personality attributes can be an extremely challenging adventure. It requires a strong capacity for introspection and reflection.
This post was first mentioned in the Authoritti5.0 Magazine